He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
