i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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