i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
