We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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