i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
