Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i already hear my dad disowning me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
