every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dear god my vagina.
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