as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
