i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize