And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
