sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
