Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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