"it" just moved
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
