He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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