talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize