I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
