Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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