I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
