He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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