ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
