That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
