we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
