So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
