come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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