i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
