You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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