Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
