If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
