bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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