Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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