So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
