i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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