Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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