unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
