And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
