Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he shaved USA in his pubs
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
