Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
