I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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