the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
