id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
