Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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