It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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