I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
