At least make sure they are 18
Why
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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