Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
