i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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