i don't plan on having that self control this summer
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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