I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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