just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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