So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
