Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
