I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
