Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
