dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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