come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
