I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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