I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
