This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
