i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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