so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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