I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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