Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
