Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
