just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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