I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
